


i fall to pieces when im with you

by Valariia



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Even is in love at first sight but that's canon honestly, M/M, Pining, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:24:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valariia/pseuds/Valariia
Summary: In which Mikael insists on getting a third roommate, Even has a crush, and Isak is a mess.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't really written in ages, so sorry if this is awful. I sat down to start my college application essays and this happened. 
> 
> New Girl was on while I wrote this so it's a little bit based on the premise of the show?
> 
> Title is from Cherry by Lana Del Rey bc she's my everything.

  
Even is fucking exhausted. He's 23, and graduated last year from university with a film degree and what he thinks in retrospect may have been overly high hopes for his future.  
  
Having grown up watching any movie he could get his hands on, Even became conditioned to think of life sort of as a film. Something that could be made to be epic and beautiful and spectacular. Something you could direct and control. Yeah, his bipolar could make him feel like he had little control over himself sometimes, but he had always seen himself as the master of his own destiny as far as where his life would go.

  
He had sort of created a fantasy in his head in which he found incredible success at a young age. In which he got to direct his own movies- beautifully done, groundbreaking, riveting films- and they were watched and adored worldwide by audiences and critics alike. Objectively, he knew that to find that kind success was rare, but he could never help hoping he'd be an exception.

  
Unfortunately, life hadn't really worked out the way he had hoped it would. It was okay, Even supposed. Just not his ideal world. He had an internship working on a show at NRK that he enjoyed, even if it was for horrible pay. He did it for the experience, for the connections and potential future opportunities to do what he was really interested in.

  
He was getting a little bit aggravated by how stagnant his life had become. He worked so much he barely had time to go to any parties or go out much. Nothing truly interesting had happened in his life recently, and he was honestly just bored.

  
Even also had jobs at KB and at a bookstore nearby the flat he shares with Mikael, picking up odd shifts as often as he possibly could while still balancing his busy schedule at NRK.  
  
  
Even took the closing shift at the book store at the last minute on Thursday night. He had planned on having a night in, but his coworker had begged him to pick it up for her, and he did need the money.

  
By the time he got back home, it was 21:00.

  
The moment he walked in the door, he knew Mikael was about to ask him to do something that he probably would not be interested in doing.

  
His best friend had not only made him dinner, but lasagna- Evens favorite. There was a bag of weed on the counter, and Mikael was sitting on the couch in their flat, a wide smile plastered across his face.

  
"Hey, Evy. How are you? How was your day? I know you're probably starving so I made you pasta. I was thinking maybe we could watch Pretty Woman tonight?" Mikaels voice oozed sweetness, purposefully overdoing it.

  
Even is not lucid enough for this shit.

  
"What did you do, Mika? You know I can't afford to spot you on rent this month. I've barely got enough to cover my own."

  
"The fuck, Even? You assume that because I want to do something nice with you, my best friend in the whole world, that I must want something from you?" Mikael asks, an affronted expression on his face.

  
"I mean, yeah," Even says, unimpressed and tired and hungry and wishing Mikael would stop playing games and get to the point.

  
"Okay, so there's this guy that works with me at Narvesen, right? He's really chill, he studies poli sci at university, and he's got these insane eyebrows. He's been staying in this flat by himself, but his landlord jacked up the rates and he can't afford it anymore so I may have told him we have an extra room and he could have it?"

  
"You just told some random guy that he could live with us? And didn't think 'hey, maybe I should consult with Even-  _the guy who I live with-_  about this first'?"

  
"Of course," Mikael says, raising his eyebrows, "I'm asking you right now. It's a good idea, anyways. We can barely afford to live here, and we'd have enough extra space if we just clear out all the shit we don't need. We could afford to get HBO, Even. And he's a really cool guy, you'd like him."

  
"I need to at least meet him first, Mika," Even says, relenting a bit. It would be nice to have another person to siphon the cost of rent off onto.  
  
  
\----  
  
  
On Saturday afternoon at 15:00, Even finds himself sitting with Mikael in his living room, waiting for some guy called Jonas Vasquez to show up.

  
With the way Mikael has talked him up, Jonas had better be the most amazing person alive.

  
There's a series of tentative knocks on the door, and Even opens it to see a tall, tan skinned boy with wild, curly dark hair and what truly may be the most magnificent eyebrows he has ever seen.

  
"Hey, you're Even, right? Nice to meet you. Also, uh, sorry, but I kind of brought my friend with me? He just got out of work and his car is in the shop, so I offered to pick him up after."

  
Even feels a little overwhelmed, but ushers Jonas into the house, saying "Yeah, of course. Is he coming up?"

  
"Thanks, bro. Yeah he's just in the car, he'll be in a second," Jonas responds as he walks off to greet Mikael.

  
Even is about the shut the door when a boy who must be Jonas' friend climbs out of the passenger seat of a black Toyota Corolla on the side of the road.

  
The boy is fucking beautiful. He's got curly, honey blond hair that makes him look like a prince. It looks so soft, so _fluffy,_ and Even just wants to run his fingers through it. He's got sharp cheekbones but somehow manages to look soft and sort of fragile anyways. He looks tall, but definitely not taller than Even, which is nice. He's wearing a blue and red jacket over a light gray fitted shirt and black skinny jeans that show off his lean but muscular body.

  
As the boy walks closer, he notices that his lips are a perfect cupids bow. Even is completely endeared. The boy has such green eyes. They're vibrant, they're beautiful, they're... staring at him. The boys whole face is painted with a confused yet sort of amused expression.

  
Oh, yeah. Even doesn't know exactly how long he's been staring, but it's definitely been too long. Oops.

  
Feeling a little flustered and embarrassed, Even tries to pull himself together, gesturing at the boy to come inside.

  
"So, you're Jonas' friend?" Even asks, while berating himself internally for asking such an obvious question.

  
"Uh, yeah, I'm Isak. Sorry for crashing your meeting thing," the boy- Isak- says.

  
"Nah, it's no problem. At all," Even tells him. Nothing this boy does could ever be a problem.

  
"I wouldn't have, but Jonas didn't tell me he had shit going on when he offered to pick me up from this shoot I had, so it just kind of happened," Isak explains.

  
"Nah, you're completely fine. What were you shooting? I do some film stuff over at NRK," Even tells him. He's been immediately intrigued by this beautiful boy, wants to know more about him. He wants to know everything there is to know about him.

  
"Oh, no. I kind of do a bit of modeling and stuff? Like, I'm not a _model_  model or anything, it's just to get through uni, you know," Isak explains, ducking his head and looking a bit sort of embarrassed.

  
Of course. He's a model. Why wouldn't he be? He's so pretty.

It's lucky that Mikael and Jonas walk in at that moment, because Even, king of poor and impulsive life decisions, was about to open him mouth and start to tell Isak just how beautiful he is.

  
"Hey, Isak. How's it going?" Mikael asks. leaning against the kitchen counter.

  
Wait. Mikael already knows Isak. Mikael has met a Isak, who might as well have 'Even's type' plastered across his forehead, and didn't even bother to mention it to Even? What the fuck?

  
Even is too caught up in this epic betrayal to hear Isak's answer, but he nods along anyways, smiling.

  
Mikael catches his eye and smirks knowingly.

  
The afternoon passes in a flurry.

  
Isak is funny and amazing and pretty much a genius, Even discovers. He studies biology at UiO with a pretty substantial scholarship. He smokes a lot of weed and likes hip hop. He's completely uneducated when it comes to movies, but Even can fix that. Isak sarcastic and biting yet seems so soft.

  
Even is gone. It doesn't help that he's basically a wet dream come to life. Even has not been so interested in or so taken with anybody in such a long time. Isak was just so perfect.

  
Oh, and Jonas is chill too. Yeah, Even likes him fine. He could definitely room with him. The fact that he and Isak are obviously very close and that Jonas moving in would probably mean Isak is around a lot absolutely does not influence Even's decision to let Jonas move in in the slightest. Definitely not.

  
When Jonas and Isak have left, Mikael corners him.

  
"You like Isak," he informs Even, a shit-eating grin on his face.

  
"What? Why do you think that?" he splutters. It's not that Even had any intention of hiding his crush, but he had thought that at least for now, it hadn't been so blindingly obvious.

  
He knows he isn't the most subtle person, but he hadn't thought it had been so apparent. Even had kind of been trying to come across as smooth and suave, not desperate and pining.

  
But, well, he _was_ desperate and pining, and Mikael knew him well enough to see right through whatever persona he'd been trying to put on.

  
"Dude, he told you he likes the fucking Transformers movies and you smiled at him. You once literally kicked Yousef out once for saying he didn't mind Michael Bay."

  
Yeah, he did, and he would do it again.

  
But Even thinks that he could make a couple exceptions if it meant keeping a boy as amazing as Isak Valtersen around.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Even is pining, insecure, and undergoing a mini-crisis. Isak is pretty and Magnus is Magnus. 
> 
> Time to meet the boy squad + my sunshine goddess, Eva.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skipped the gym and wrote this in like an hour lmao (I know it's a fast update but thats not something you should get used to probably if anybody actually cares bc I'm about to start school and I've got band stuff but anyways)
> 
> I was like, 'is it unrealistic to make pretty much everyone gay?' but then I remembered I don't care and it's happening anyways

Because he's got three more weeks left in his old apartment, Jonas waits another month before moving in with Even and Mikael. Which means Even doesn't get to see Isak for weeks.

He does, however, find Isak online. He looks deep into his Insta and Facebook, careful not to like any pictures and risk seeming like a stalker. He finds an adorable video of Isak rapping that he watches probably way too many times. It's so sweet and dorky.

He also finds some of Isak's modeling pictures through a Google Images search. They're pulled from some hipstery clothing websites. He looks so beautiful. And if Even happens to spend time looking at the pictures while engaging in some not quite PG activities almost every night for the next few weeks, nobody has to know.

 

_Wednesday_

 

  
**Mikael (15:33)**

Hey just checking is it chill if Jonas comes at 12:30 or so on Saturday

He wants to get all his shit unpacked in one day

**Even (15:37)**

Yeah definitely

Is he like bringing people with him or does he need us to help him out

**Mikael (15:39)**

Lmao even not subtle

He said he's bringing some friends so I'm sure your boy Isaks going to be there

 

  
_Saturday_

 

Jonas doesn't show up until 13:30, but he comes with lunch for Even and Mikael.

He's with Isak. With them is also very pretty girl with with long, auburn hair, as well as a dark skinned guy with a shaved head and a chubby cheeked boy with acne and messy blond hair.

Even recognizes all of them from pictures he had found on Isak's Instagram.

Isak appears to be having a pretty intense conversation with the girl. He's smiling and laughing at something she's saying. Is that his girlfriend?

Evens heart drops at the thought. Of course Isak would be straight, of course he would have a beautiful girlfriend. Nobody that pretty could possibly be single. Somebody like Even could never have a chance with a boy like that.

Jonas walks in, holding a McDonalds bag filled with two burgers and a couple of orders of fries out to Even, saying, "Hey, man. I know we're super late, but Isak and Eva are awful and didn't bother to _wake the fuck up_  this morning so we had to wait for them."

Shit. Isak lives with her? Of course he would have a serious girlfriend. Even can see what little chance he had of getting together with (or getting on top of) Isak disappear into thin air.

Even is busy feeling sorry for himself when he remembers he's meant to be having a conversation, and that means he needs to start talking back instead of getting lost in his head.

"Nah," he tells Jonas, accepting the food. "You're completely fine. I get it, Mikael never wakes up on time for anything either."

"Yeah man, I know, he sleeps like the damn dead," Jonas laughs.

He _knows_? How would Jonas know that? Even doesn't have much time to dwell on that question because the next thing he knows, the blonde boy with the shaggy hair is in Even's face and wrapping him in a giant bear hug.

"Hey, I'm Magnus. Mikael's told me all about you, bro. You seem so cool. I mean, shit, look at you. Do you really work at NRK? It's sooo cool of you to let Jonas stay here, man. I was worried I'd have to let him crash at my place for a while," the guy tells him, a giant smile on his face that makes him look a bit like an overexcited puppy.

Even is smiling back at him, a little overwhelmed, when Isak pipes up.

"Fuck, Mags, would you calm down? You don't even know the guy, just chill the fuck out, man," he says, then, turning to address Even, "Sorry, Magnus doesn't know how to properly interact with other human beings."

Has Even mentioned that Isak is fucking adorable? Even while he's watching him insulting and cursing at his friends, Even can't help but find himself feeling completely endeared.

He needs to snap out of it though. Isak is straight. Isak has a girlfriend. Isak is not and never will be interested in him. Isak is probably going to be around a lot, and Even needs to learn how to be around him and not fall for him.

Ha. Like that's possible.

Even realizes once again that he has completely zoned out and retreated into his own mind when he notices everybody in the room looking at him with questioning eyes.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Jonas said he'd take us out and pay for drinks tonight since we're all helping him with moving. Can you come?" Magnus asks.

"Totally, if that's chill with you all?" he says, eager to meet everybody yet not wanting to infringe upon their time together. What if they're just trying to be polite by inviting him?

"Uh, yeah man, definitely. We're just gonna hit up some club or house party or something. You're so cool, you'll make us all look better anyways."

Even likes Magnus.

\---

It takes less time than expected to move in and unpack all of Jonas' stuff.

Even learns a lot about him. He's 21 but still skateboards all the time, and from the videos he is shown, it is obvious that he does it a lot and is very skilled. He went to Hartvig Nissen and he's been best friends with Isak since they were eight years old (lucky boy). It seems like he could tirade against capitalism and Western society for hours- probably part of why he and Mikael get along so well.

Although Jonas seems like he genuinely believes in these things because he thinks it's what's best for society, whereas Mikael just doesn't like having to get a job.

Jonas is passionate and interesting and opinionated. He's a little bit of a hipster, but honestly, so is Even. Mikael did well picking a roommate, he thinks.

Even actually thinks that all of Jonas' friends are pretty great.

He can't help but to like even Eva, which is impressive she's dating the actual man of his dreams. Sure, he's a little bit jealous. It's just that she seems like such a sweet and genuine and lovely girl he can't help but find himself enjoying her company. He does wish her relationship status with Isak was a bit different, though, but he avoids talking to her about anything to do with that. He isn't a masochist.

It hurts to even think about Isak with somebody else, which is ridiculous because they barely know eachother. However, Even has a flair for the dramatics and could form quick attachments like nobody's business, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that he's become so into Isak so quickly.

The group has all of Jonas' stuff unpacked in a bit over three hours.

They all hang around and end up engaged in a rather heated FIFA tournament.

Isak is schooling everybody. Magnus and Eva have both already tried and failed to beat him. Even isn't surprised at all, because of course Isak would be amazing at this, too.

Jonas plays, but is out rather quickly, cursing then moving to cheer on Mikael even as he loses rather pathetically to Isak.

Eva has her head resting on Isak's shoulder and it hurts. But he can't leave and he doesn't want to see this, so he turns to Magnus and lets himself be regaled with some story about a rather ridiculous and inappropriate dream he had last night.

In the end it's Mahdi who wins the FIFA tournament in a last minute upset that has everybody cheering and Isak cursing.

Even is beginning to realize that Mahdi is probably somebody who shouldn't be underestimated. Not only in FIFA, but in life in general.

\-----

It's 21:00, the boys and Eva have been playing video games for hours.

Eva has just invited some girl called Vilde over with the express permission of Even and Mikael, and the plan is to pregame at their flat. None of the boys have heard of any parties worth going to, so it's been decided that they'll just hit up some club in downtown Oslo.

Vilde shows up half an hour later and Eva walks over to kiss her on the lips.

_Wait, what?_

Are they just really good friends? Why is Isak's girl kissing this blonde chick right in front of Isak? Isak didn't even react when it happened. What? Do they just kiss each other casually in this group? Could he maybe do that with Isak?

Jonas seems to notice Evens confused expression and fixes him with a hard look. "Is there a problem?" he asks, raising one eyebrow and tilting his head a bit.

_Oh._ He realizes what that must have seemed like.

"No, of course not. No, I mean, I'm pan, I just. Isn't Isak dating Eva?"

Magnus actually starts laughing.

"Isak? Isak and Eva? Seriously? Isak is _sooo_ fucking gay, though. He loves dick. And Eva and Vilde are gay as fuck, too, dude."

Isak is blushing. "Fuck _off_ , Magnus," he says, his tone exasperated but with no real venom in his voice.

He looks to Eva and Vilde, who are giggling in the corner. They're kissing a lot. "I'm bisexual, actually," Eva manages to get out before Vilde's lips are on hers once again.

This has gone far better than Even expected. Not only is Isak not dating Eva, but he's also interested in boys. Even begins to send thanks to every deity he doesn't believe in because he has obviously just been blessed.

Sure, he may still have almost no chance with Isak- smart, confident, beautiful, literal genius model Isak. But now there's a sliver of hope. There's a possibility. And that's everything. At the very least, it means Even won't have to watch Isak with some girl every time Jonas has his friends over.

They leave to the club soon after, everyone but Even a little tipsy already. Isak is in a huffy mood after Magnus declared himself his personal wingman for the night, saying that Isak was in desperate need of 'getting dicked down'. Even had to bite hip lip to keep from volunteering. Be cool, be cool, be cool, he tells himself.

Jonas, Mikael, and Mahdi are singing obnoxiously on the tram, laughing. Sober enough to know they're embarrassing themselves, intoxicated enough to not care. It's cute. Even is happy and feels more free than he has in a while. He can't quite explain why.

\------

Even had thought that Isak was so smooth and cool, but after four shots at the bar, he was a giggly mess. Even didn't drink because it messed with his meds, and he usually found that being around drunk people while sober was an exhausting and annoying experience.

However, he likes Isak like this. He probably likes Isak in every way, though. But it's different, seeing Isak being so happy, so cute, so carefree.

"I saw you staring at me all day, you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, cause I've been staring at you, too."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I don't know if I want to make this super fluffy and wrap it up w like five-ish chapters total or bring on the angst for a bit and make this a longer thing? 
> 
> And I know evens a pretty unreliable narrator so just to clarify Isak and Eva are just roommates who are hella close bc my boy Isak has become softer and more affectionate and confident since high school and they're besties ok? I hope they're all still mostly in character?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even is hopeless and shit's about to go down.

Isak is definitely a bit drunk, but surprisingly high functioning for somebody who has consumed the amount of alcohol he has in such a short amount of time.

Their group had arrived at the club just over an hour ago, with Even managing to lose track of everyone but Isak within about 5 minutes. He's not complaining though, because it means he's got Isak to himself. Although Isak isn't exactly capable of holding a coherent conversation at the moment, so they're just dancing. Techno pop music is blaring, colorful lights shine everywhere, and Even is surrounded in all directions by sweaty, writhing bodies.

There is one particular body he's focused on, which happens to be sloppily grinding against him.

"You're so... you're sooo pretty," Isak says, slurring his words a bit and leaning against Even.

"Is that so?"

"I've seen you staring at me all day, you know," Isak adds.

"Yeah?" Even asks. He doesn't trust himself to say anything else. What is happening? Is this real? He must be dreaming.

"Yeah," Isak tells him, smiling coyly, "Cause I've been staring at you, too."

Even doesn't really know how to react to that, so he just kisses him.

Kissing Isak makes Even's head spin. Isak doesn't move slowly, opting to lick at Even's lips until he opens them, furiously shoving his tongue inside and deepening the kiss. Isak's in control, but relinquishes power the moment Even starts to push back, content with letting him take over. It's beautiful, and Even feels so warm and _happy_ , like a kid who got everything he wanted for Christmas.

Isak is kissing _him_. Out of everybody in this club, everybody he could have had. Isak picked him.

They're full on making out in the middle of the club now. Even's hands have made their way down to grab Isak's ass while Isak fists roughly at Even's hair, holding on.

Isak pulls back a bit, and Even is momentarily devastated before Isak's leaning in again, biting at his earlobe and whispering. "Do you wanna get out of here?"

\-----

They're on the tram, heading back towards Even's flat.

He pulls out his phone to text Mikael, telling him he's leaving and to please not come home for a while, hoping the message gets relayed to Jonas.

It's nearing one am, so the tram is empty save for a couple of teenagers who are very obviously high and a sleeping man in a suit. There's nobody to notice Isak practically sitting in Even's lap, mouthing at his neck as Even desperately tries not to let out an obscene moan.

Even has never been so grateful to live as close to the club as he does. He usually possesses some semblance of self control, but having Isak on him like this is sapping it out of him, and waiting any longer isn't something that Even could handle right now. Luckily, they reach the stop in a matter of a few minutes.

Once they're back in Even's flat, Even immediately presses Isak up against the door, kissing him hard.

They make out furiously, Even grabbing roughly at Isak's thighs, trying to get a solid grip before hoisting him up. Isak wraps his legs around Even, moaning into his mouth.

Even begins backing them into his room as Isak folds his arms around his neck, kissing all over his face. He stumbles and runs into a couple of walls, but counts it as a win considering that he manages to remain upright throughout the whole process.

They make it into the bedroom, Isak reaching an arm out to slam the door shut before squealing as Even throws him down onto the bed unceremoniously.

Even peels off his jacket and t shirt before jumping on the bed, looping his left leg over Isak and straddling him. "Shit, Isak, you're so fucking hot. I can't believe this."

Isak smirks up at him, sitting up a bit in order to pull his shirt off. He pulls Even down into a filthy kiss, pulling back after a moment to bite at Even's earlobe teasingly. "Come on, Even, want you to fuck me."

Even has never been this turned on in his entire life. He pulls off of Isak completely in order to get his jeans and boxers off before diving back down in order to rid Isak of the rest of his clothing.

He pulls the lube from his bedside table, setting it to the side as he moves to pull Isak's legs up.

Isak's eyes widen a bit. "No, no, Even, want you to fuck me from behind. Feels better like that, baby," he says, rushing his words.

Even's heart drops a bit at this. He wanted to see Isak's pretty face, watch his expression twisting in pleasure, see what he looks like when he comes. He doesn't like the impersonality of not fucking face to face, but Isak's already moving to get on his hands and knees. Even just doesn't have the strength to argue this, can't wait any longer to be in Isak, all his willpower gone. He'll do anything Isak wants.

So he lubes up his fingers and slowly slides one into Isak. He pushes a second inside after a minute and begins to scissor his fingers. He works him open slowly, carefully, determined not to cause Isak any pain. "I'm good, I'm good, _please_ , just need you in me," Isak breathes out, voice whining. Even picks up the pace at that, knowing neither of them can wait much longer. Once feels Isak start to open up and relax around his fingers, Even pulls out.

He grabs a condom from beside the bed, tearing the wrapper open and rolling it on.

Even runs his hand across the small of Isak's back before moving down to massage his ass while he lines his dick up to Isak's rim.

Isak moans brokenly as Even slowly pushes into him. "Shit, you're so big, what the _fuck_ ," Isak tells him, voice airy and cracked.

Even moves carefully at first, agonizingly slow, but quickly picks up the pace once Isak begins begging for it _harder_ and _faster_. Soon he's thrusting into the boy at a punishing pace. Isak's pushing his ass back into Even in time with the thrusts, too much for Even to handle. Isak's body is just wrapped so tight and warm and soft around his dick and Even is seeing stars, feeling euphoric and hot and overwhelmed. It's been so long since anything has made him feel like this.

To be fair, it had been a few months since Even had had sex with anybody, but he's sure it was never this amazing, that it had never felt this _good_ before. It feels like the start of something new.

Isak is moaning and making these soft _ah ah_  noises that go straight to Even's dick. Even continues to thrust sharply, rutting into Isak hard and fast, pleasure bubbling up inside him as his vision begins to blacken around the edges.

Even feels his orgasm building inside of him. He reaches down to wrap his big hands around Isak's cock, moving up and down Isak's length roughly and at a rapid speed, wanting to make Isak come first.

Isak gasps loudly, thrusting up into Even's hand. "Fuck, Even, _fuck_. Come on, please, please," he begs, moaning.

Isak doesn't last long after that. He comes with a broken yelp, dick spasming under Even's grasp as he moans, trembling as Even continues to fuck him through his orgasm.

Isak then clenches around Even a couple times, squeezing at him even more, and Even is gone. He reaches over, roughly grabbing onto Isak's shoulder for leverage as he comes, buried deep inside.

Even takes a moment to get a hold of himself, attempting to catch his breath and calm down before he slowly pulls out of Isak and takes the condom off, tying it closed and tossing it into the can across the room. He drops down to lay on his back beside Isak, still breathing heavily, smiling widely.

"That was amazing, holy shit," he tells Isak, who responds with a noncommittal grunt, nodding his head. Maybe just not ready for words again.

Even melts a bit when he looks over at Isak. The boy looks like a sleepy, adorable kitten. Fluffy hair messed up, curled up into himself a bit with his eyes drooping, thin lips tilted up at the edges and smiling softly.

Even wants to take a picture of Isak like this. It's the prettiest thing he's seen, really. He wants to make it his lock screen, maybe paint it in oils and sell it for millions, put it on posters across the city so everybody can see how beautiful and soft this boy looks right now. But he doesn't, because that would be creepy and extra, probably. And maybe he wants to keep this sight to himself.

He falls asleep soon after Isak does, raking his fingers through soft blonde curls. He falls asleep, happy and hopeful.

When he wakes up, Isak is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in a while because I didn't know what to do with this but I've figured out where I want to take this so I'll probably update a bit more often now. 
> 
> It's kind of a short chapter and I don't know how to write sex so it took longer to write than others. The next chapter is already started and it will be longer. Hopefully this is okay and people are still reading it?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even is sad and Mikael has some big news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a pretty bad concussion at the moment so I'm just posting this bc it's what I had before and I don't want to wait until I feel up to editing this to post anything. I'll probably come back through and change this chapter up later bc I'm not really happy with it but for now it's just what I had written already. Sorry!

Isak is gone. Knowing that he just _left_  like that is making Even's heart hurt. He knows he's being a little bit irrational, he knows that he barely knows Isak, knows that last night didn't necessarily have to mean anything. It's painful, though, because Even hasn't felt that kind of attraction, that kind of connection with somebody in years. Being with Isak felt _right_ , it was natural and easy and made Even feel soft in a way he hadn't felt in a long time.

Even knows he can build things up in his head, but for some reason that just doesn't feel like what the thing with Isak was.

He feels defeated, mopey, existential. He feels like he wants to eat shitty cereal and watch Wes Anderson movies and not think about things. Not think about how he's definitely going to die alone and how nobody will ever love him and how he loves romantic movies but will never have anything like that in real life. Doesn't want to think about it _at all._  He's doing fine.

Even makes a bowl of Fruity Pebbles, Mikael not even awake yet to tease him about it ("Are you _five_ , Even? Do you fantasize about type two diabetes?"). He's almost half way through Moonrise Kingdom when Mikael finally emerges, groaning animatedly.

"I feel like I've been brutally stomped to death by a rabid, angry mammoth, honestly. Why do you let me drink, Even? It's not worth it," he mutters, shielding his eyes from the fluorescent lighting of the kitchen.

Mikael somehow still manages to look like an adorable kitten despite the dark circles under his eyes making his face appear gaunt and how he didn't wash the gel out of his hair last night, making his hair stick up in what should be gravity defying directions.

He pulls a Red Bull from the fridge before walking over and throwing himself down on the couch beside Even.

"Sooo, Evy, you're out of your dry spell?"

"Hmm?"

"You know. You finally got laid. Did the horizontal hula? The old lust and thrust? Had a pants off dance off? Churned the- hey!" His teasing is cut off when Even smacks him in the face with the pillow he'd been clutching against his chest.

"Really though. Did you?"

"Yeah. Yeah, But it's just that I really, like, _liked_ him. And he just sort of left, you know? Didn't even say anything," Even sighs.

Mikael is silent for a moment before he responds. "Shit bro, I'm sorry. But really though, if this guy doesn't even bother to stick around at all, he isn't worth your time. You deserve somebody better than that, Ev."

Even sighs. He doesn't want to talk about this. He _can't_ talk about this, can't tell Mikael that it was Isak because Mikael _knows_  Isak. Even doesn't know if Isak would be okay with him knowing what had happened. Maybe he's embarrassed by Even. Telling anybody just isn't his place.

Mikael seems to know not to pry, though. Of course he does, because he knows Even like the back of his hand. He quickly downs the second half of the Red Bull in his hands before looking over at Even again. "You know I love you, right? You're going to be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine, Mika."

"Well, I've got to go to work. Do you have a shift tonight or are you home?"

"Nah, I'll be here."

"Okay, chill. I want to talk to you about, uh, something."

"Yeah, absolutely. Sure. Whatever you need."

"Thanks, bro. I'll leave you to your wallowing and pretentious movie time now," Mikael says, smirking a bit at Even as he gets up to leave.

Even doesn't actually work at all today. He's got editing that needs to be done for the NRK show that he's been working on, but that's been pushed aside in favor of extending his 'wallowing and pretentious movie time'.

He's moved on to watching Moulin Rouge when Jonas emerges from his room. Even's a bit surprised to see him because it's almost 15:00 and he hadn't heard a sound from the room all day. He'd figured Jonas was already out somewhere. Who sleeps that late, _really_?

"Hey, Even. You doing okay, man?" Jonas asks, chipper.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Didn't realize you were still home, though."

Jonas smiles at him. "Yeah, well. I didn't get to bed until real late last night, and I don't get a chance to sleep in much anymore with all my classes and working, so I get it where I can."

Even doesn't really know how to respond to that, doesn't feel comfortable enough with Jonas yet to ask anything beyond the most surface level questions. He just nods in response, smiling a bit awkwardly.

"Hey, uh, I'm going to head over to Isak's. You can come with if you want, we're just playing FIFA and chilling out."

"Thanks, I'd really love to go, but I've actually got a lot of work I've got to get done tonight for this internship I've got." Which is technically true. Even doesn't need to mention the other, blonde haired reason that he's reluctant to accompany Jonas.

But he can't help just asking about it, testing the waters. "Hey, uh, is Isak dating somebody or anything right now?"

Jonas snorts. "Nah, dating isn't really Isak's scene. Some shit went down a while ago and he's not really been into the whole _commitment_ thing, you know. Wait, do you like him or something?"

"Nah, I was just wondering, it's nothing."

_Lies._

"Oh, alright. Chill," Jonas says. "That probably wouldn't really go too well, honestly."

_Oh._

"Yeah, sure. Uh, have fun, man."

"You too, bro. See you," Jonas tells him, waving once before he walks out the door.

That conversation, surprisingly, did absolutely nothing to raise Even's spirits.

There's only one thing that can help him now.

Five minutes later, Even is sitting back down on the couch, giant bowl of chocolate brownie ice cream in hand, opening scenes Romeo + Juliet playing out on the screen. Even has found very few sadnesses in his lifetime that young Leonardo DiCaprio and excessive amounts of sugar can't cure him of.

\----

Even jumps awake when he feels light touches digging into his sides, making him curl up into himself protectively as he giggles, unable to control his reaction.

Mikael is sitting next to him, an amused grin spread across his face. Even moves to check his phone, which at this point has been his natural next step after waking up. It's only 20:30. He hasn't been on his phone in hours, but the only notifications he's gotten are a text from Yousef asking him to call and a voicemail from his mother.

Even knows he he has people. He knows that people are naturally drawn to him and that it's easy for him to make new friends. He knows he's got Mikael, Yousef, Mutta, Elias, Adam, even Sonja. Objectively, he knows he isn't alone. But right now, his brain isn't quite letting him realize this. It's throwing words and thoughts at Even, making him feel like he is nothing, like he has nobody.

Even still hasn't managed to figure out quite how to control his mind. Maybe he never will, even with the plethora of meds he takes every morning to mellow it out. He knows himself well enough to realize that he isn't actually falling into a depressive episode, though. This is just some situational sadness and he doesn't have the willpower to fight it right now, so he allows himself to wallow in a little self pity in order to avoid his underlying feelings of self hatred and anger.

Even's caught up in his thoughts, only to snap out of it once he hears Mikael pointedly clearing his throat next to him.

He looks up to see his best friend staring at him, eyebrows raised. "You doing okay, man?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just a bit stressed, you know. Did you want to talk to me about something."

Mikael's brows furrow a bit at this, crossing his arms over his body, almost as if to shield himself. "Yeah, but it's kind of dumb, though. Like, I know it doesn't actually matter, but it's just scary to talk about anyways, I guess."

"You know you can talk to me about whatever you want, right? I won't judge you or anything," Even tells him. He's tempted to make a joke, because Mikael is tense and seems nervous, but Even doesn't want to discourage him from talking somehow.

"It's nothing like that, really," Mikael tells him, pausing for a moment before continuing. "It's just that I'm kind of bi?"

"Oh. _Oh._  "Okay. I mean, that's totally chill. You know that right? I'm fine with that, the boys all will be too. And I'm really glad you wanted to tell me about it, too, Mika." Even doesn't know how to respond to this. To him it doesn't seem like a big deal, but he knows the environment Mikael grew up in, knows that saying and coming to terms with those words was probably a struggle for him. Knows Mikael needs to hear these words of support. It's a bit a shock for Even, because Mikael had never really seemed interested in boys _at all_ , but of course it's fine. He knows that no matter what, Mikael just needs that reassurance that the way he's feeling is okay.

"Yeah. I know it's stupid to be so weird about telling you because like half the people we know aren't straight but it just kind of freaked me out a bit? You're kind of the first person I've told about it. Well, except for Jonas."

"You told _Jonas_ before me?" Even asks, tone teasing and light, but secretly a tiny bit offended.

"I mean, I didn't _tell him,_ really. He just sort of found out about it after the first time I kissed him?"

And, woah, okay.

" _You're dating Jonas?"_ Even's voice comes out sharper than he intended it too.

"No. Well, kind of. We just like each other a lot and we're trying to figure out how we feel and what we want to do about it because it's just all so new for both of us. Being into boys. So we're not, like, a *thing* yet."

"Oh. Okay, that's cool."

"But you're chill with it?"

"Of course, Mika. I just want you to be happy. Just let me know if I'm going to need to start investing in earplugs, maybe?"

Mikael smiles a bit at that. "Yeah, man. Uh, thank you, though. Really."

"Are you going to tell the boys soon?"

"Yeah, I've been wanting to. I mean, I felt better telling you about it first, really. But yeah. I will. Just seems like nothing compared to Yousef's shit."

"What's up with Yousef?"

"Uh. Have you talked to Yousef today?"

"No," Even says, brows furrowing. "But he texted me a while ago. What's up with him? Is he okay?"

Mikael just shakes his head, smirking a bit. "Just call him, man. Yousef's overdramatic ass would kill me if I spoiled the chance to tell you."

"Okay, then," Even says, confused.

Even pulls out and unlocks his phone. He tries to call Yousef twice, but it goes to voicemail both times.

"Mikael. Just tell me. I'll pretend I didn't know. Stop acting so weird about this."

"They just got engaged," Mikael tells him, eyes widening as his smile becomes comically wide.

"Shit. He got engaged? To Sana?"

"No, he proposed to the fucking Babadook. Of course it's _Sana_. He's so happy, too. It's ridiculous," Mikael tells him, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, well, they're so perfect together. I don't know anybody who's as in love as they are, man," he says, flopping back onto the couch behind him with a _thud_. "I want that, you know?"

"Mhm," Mikael tells him, pulling out his phone. "Hey, before you have another existential crisis, can you tell me what's you want on your pizza? Pepperoni, yeah?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even is kind of struggling. He feels like he's sort of behind in life and it's getting to him a lot. So he's not miserable just bc of Isak, he's miserable bc he felt a connection to somebody for the first time in a long while and he feels rejected and it's pulling other things up? I don't think it really articulates this and my brain is currently dead so I haven't really been able to edit things to make this come across better. Isak's back in a big way next chapter, though.
> 
> Also, I wasn't going to make Jonas/Mikael a thing but it kind of happened anyways?  
> (It's hard bc Mikael doesn't really have a canon personality but I'm attached to him anyways so I sort of injected my best friend into him oops?)


	5. Isak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The life and times of high school Isak. The (kind of) answer to the question 'why is he like this?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a couple hundred words about Isak's past before going back into the present day story, but I got carried away? Oops. It's still this same universe and is a lot of (important?) backstory, though. 
> 
> Also this whole thing is kind of a clusterfuck of past and present tenses that I don't have the patience to fix up so sorry. The chapter is all set while Isak's in high school, so a few years before the actual story.

Jonas had always told Isak not to mess with Christoffer Schistad.

Chris was a fuckboy, he was an inconsiderate asshole, he'd cheated with Eva, he had fucked half the girls and a fair amount of the guys at Nissen. Chris was well aware of his reputation and he wasn't ashamed in the slightest. If anything, he wore it like a badge of honor.

He always did have a soft spot for Isak, though. Chris would litter him with sweet kisses and nice words, always telling Isak how _sexy_ and _beautiful_ he was, using pet names like _baby_ and _sweetheart_  that had Isak melting against him.

Isak came out as gay at the beginning of his second year of high school. He hadn't actually wanted people to know yet, but Emma didn't bother to ask how Isak was feeling before she decided to take it upon herself to out him. News spread fast. Within the day, everybody seemed to know.

In the end, the reactions weren't too bad and while nobody truly seemed to care much, Nissen was a fairly small school without a lot going on and people took every chance they could to gossip about anything.

There were few nasty comments. A string of insensitive but (probably?) well meaning text messages from Vilde. Sara cornering him, asking rapid fire, invasive questions as if she were attempting to catch him in a lie. Some people didn't believe it for whatever reason. _He just wants attention. He was never like this before. He's such a player, there's no way he isn't into those girls. He's not really gay._

People talked, but his friends accepted him fairly easily, and that's what mattered. Deep down, he had been fairly certain that they would be okay with it, but knowing hadn't stopped that knawing fear in his gut that they might not have been, the _what if?_ So he had stayed silent until everything was forced into the open.

Jonas had already known, had been the only person Isak was out to save for Eskild, who just knew by virtue of being Eskild. (The fact that their first meeting had been while Isak was crying in the middle of a gay bar also may have something to do with it, but who knows?)

Mahdi was chill about it. "We're all here for you, man. You know that, right? No matter who you're into."

Magnus had been offended Isak hadn't told them before, but after a series of unintentionally homophobic questions, he just smiled. "More girls for me, then," he'd said. Isak had just laughed. "You wish." He was so relieved that things could still feel so normal, that they could still banter and laugh together while drinking shitty beer at a pregame. The world wasn't over.

Chris cornered him at a party the same week he'd come out.

After that first moment, Isak recalls everything else that happened that night in a blissful haze. He doesn't remember quite what Chris did or said to coax Isak- who had been a self conscious, nervous, uncomfortable wreck- into one of the bedrooms upstairs. Isak just remembers ending up in some strangers bed, sprawled out with Chris on top of him.

Isak's sexual experience up to that point had been limited to sloppy blowjobs from semi drunk girls at parties, a few half hearted make out sessions.

He'd never been with somebody he was genuinely attracted to, so hooking up with Chris was life changing. Isak hadn't known what he'd been missing out on.

Their first time, Chris blew him and it felt like a revelation. _Is that how this is supposed to feel?_ Isak had reciprocated, awkward and unsure. He knew it was probably lackluster, but Chris just kissed and praised him anyways. "So good, Isak, you're so good. Beautiful."

Isak had thought it would be a one off thing. Chris Scistad never did repeats, everybody knew that.

Except he did. Over and over again, and only for Isak. It made Isak feel special, in a weird way.

Almost every single party Isak went to, Chris was there. Almost every single party Isak went to, he ended up under Chris, getting pounded into the sheets. Getting kissed and praised and well fucked.

They started hanging out at other times, too. Usually it was just texting one another at random hours for booty calls. It was an easy arrangement, both of them always available seeing as neither ever slept much in the first place.

It isn't just sex, though. They would hang out sometimes- going for kebab or getting McDonalds during lunch or playing video games on a Sunday afternoon.

Chris never holds his hand, never kisses him when they aren't fucking. He's never affectionate without an agenda, but Isak chooses to ignore this. He clings to the attention he does get and tries to block out the warning signs.

It's the little things that allow Isak to delude himself, allow him to think that maybe this is something _more_. It's how Chris is always whispering sweet nothings during sex, how he always fucks him face to face because he knows Isak likes the intimacy of it, how Chris always calls him _pretty boy_ , how Chris will joke and laugh with him when he's having a bad day.

Chris is just so pretty, so smart, so cool. He _isn't_  a nice person, Isak realizes that, but he's sweet to Isak, and that makes him feel so special. Like he matters.

Isak knows he's in love. He also knows that he can't tell Chris that, so he tells Eva.

Eva is always honest with him, knows him better than almost anybody. He has to say something, and he trusts her the most.

They're at her house one day, only a week after the end of their second year. Nine months after his first hook up with Chris. Eva's mom is out of town, so they have the place to themselves, drinking cocoa and sitting on her bed watching some American TV show she and the girls have become obsessed with.

She pauses the show when he tells her. Eva turns to look at him, her expression sad, resigned, almost worried. "Isak, you can't fucking go  _falling in love_ with a boy like Chris. I just wish you'd stop doing this to yourself. You can find someone better, you know."

"He's so nice to me though, Eva. And we hang out all the time. He isn't _like_ that with other people."  
  
"Issy. You can't trust him. He'll break your heart, you know he will. Boys like that don't  _do_  relationships."

Isak knows that. He knows, he really does. But that doesn't stop him from hoping. "I just want him to love me like I love him," he whispers, and Eva's face falls.

She pulls him into a hug, running a soothing hand through his blonde hair. Eva knows how soft and fragile Isak truly is, knows that this uncertainty is breaking him. They stay intertwined like that for the rest of the night, eventually getting sucked back in to Eva's show. Chris isn't mentioned again.

Three weeks after that day, Isak gets a text from Noora. She's back in London with William for the summer, and Chris had been in the city visiting for the past few days.

It's a picture of some party. The photo is slightly blurry and the lighting is awful, but the scene unfolding is clear as day. Chris has some girl pressed up against the wall, her arms wrapped tightly against his neck. They're making out. Isak's heart stops.

Isak knows he and Chris are not in a relationship. Chris isn't cheating on him, but seeing him with somebody else still stings like a betrayal.

Chris had never made Isak any promises and Isak had never asked anything of him- if only because he knew the older boy would deny him. Isak wanted everything, but he knew where he had to stand with Chris.

Isak knows they aren't _dating_  or _exclusive_ ,knows that nothing about the relationship they have justifies his hurt, angry, jealous reaction.

_Chris can do what he wants._

It's just that Isak had twisted everything up in his head just enough to make the situation bearable, to make it seem like maybe Chris felt the same way he did. The reminder that Isak's feelings aren't requited hurts worse than he'd care to admit.

The bubble he's been living in has been burst, and Isak feels like he's falling.

He doesn't reply to Noora's message. Instead, he cries alone in his room, and yells brokenly at Eskild when he asks what happened.

Isak never means to confront Chris about it. He wants to push the image of him with somebody else to the back of his mind, pretend it never happened. That's what he does with things he can't handle, always has been. Repress and ignore.

It's just that this usual system isn't working. He can't stop thinking about it. Isak is so in love with Chris, would do anything for him, wants to be with him more than anything. It's eating away at his heart, to possess that stone cold, concrete evidence that Chris isn't that invested. He can't ignore it anymore.

Two weeks after Noora's picture, it happens.

Chris didn't live at his parents house anymore. He'd moved out and into a flat with some boys from university a few months prior. He still had the house keys and gate codes to his parent's place, though, so whenever his parents were out, he always held massive parties in their mansion.

The Friday in question was one of those nights, and it seemed that half of the teenage population of Oslo was in Chris' house.

They were both drunk, and Chris had Isak pushed up against a wall. Isak's mind was clear for once, completely blissed out and content as Chris sucked on his neck, grabbing at his hips. Chris' touch felt like the only thing keeping him grounded.

He remembers the picture then. Realizes the two of them are in a strikingly similar position to the one Chris was in with that girl less than a month ago.

_He probably fucked her after that, too. Why would he?_

Isak isn't happy anymore. There are tears welling up in his eyes, but Chris doesn't seem to notice. He's too busy sucking and licking and kissing Isak's neck, squeezing his hips hard, running fingers down to grab at his ass before reaching further, grasping at Isak's thighs to pull him up until Isak is instinctively wrapping long legs around his waist and holding on tight at his neck.

Isak feels so overwhelmed, and not in the way he usually does. It hurts so bad.

_Everything he's doing to you, he did to her. He probably does this all the time. Why would he bother to tell you about it?_

That's the thought that breaks him.

It isn't until they've reached Chris' room, until Chris has tossed Isak onto the bed and locked the door, until Chris has pounced on the bed and is looming over Isak, that Chris finally notices Isak's distress.

He moves off of Isak, reaches out to stroke at his hair. "Isak? Is? Did I hurt you? What's wrong?"

Isak doesn't say anything, can't say anything, just shakes his head and reaches to pull Chris in for a kiss.

The other boy might not love him, but at least Isak has him in this way.

Except Chris pulls back before their lips ever meet. "Come on, pretty boy. Just tell me what happened. I'm not fucking you when you're like this." Isak's silent for a moment, so Chris just goes on. "Isak, just tell me what to do. Do you want Jonas? I can go get Eva?"

 _I need you._  
  
He should just lie. Say it's nothing, keep going. Pretend this never happened. But then he opens his mouth, and the truth comes out.

"I saw you with that girl."

Chris looks confused. "Which girl?"

"At that party in London. Noora sent it to me. You were making out with that girl."

Chris doesn't look so worried any more. If anything, he's almost angry. "So? I can make out with anybody I want to, Isak."

"I know! I know you can." Isak feels hysterical, but his breathing is coming out surprisingly controlled, even as tears stream down his face.

"Then what's the problem here?"

"I just wish you wouldn't."

Chris' eyes flash mirthlessly. "You wish I wouldn't? The fuck? That isn't how this works, Valtersen. That's not what this is. You _know_ that. What the hell?"

"I _love_  you, though." Isak is crying hard. He feels so pathetic.

Chris' face transforms at the words, angry to expressionless. "Isak, you need to leave. Like, now."

Isak can't feel his face, he's shaking so hard. "No. No, no, I'm sorry. No. Please."

"Look, Isak. You're cute and we fuck a lot. That's it. I don't know what you thought this was, but it isn't. I like hanging out with you and shit, but we're just... That's it, okay?"

Isak feels numb, spacey. Like his mind and body have disconnected. "Chris, please."

"No! No, we aren't doing this, actually. Any of this. I thought you got what this was, but you don't. You need to get out, Isak. Go get Eva to take you home. This is done."

_This is done._

The next morning, Isak wakes up in Eva's bed, wrapped up in her arms. He's okay for a moment, but everything comes crashing down on him like a weight and suddenly he can't remember how to breathe.

For the next couple of weeks, he texts Chris. Apologies, memes, anything he can think of. Chris reads every single one, but they all go unanswered.

Weeks later, the boys force Isak to to stop hiding out in his room and to go to some party. Chris is there, chatting up some girl in the corner, obviously flirting, touching her thigh. He glances up for a brief moment when Isak enters with Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi. But he barely reacts, just looks away, back to the girl, doesn't spare another glance Isak's way the rest of the night.

'This is done', he'd said. Maybe it is. _Of course it is._ It was too good.

People leaving had always been a fixture of Isak's life. His sister, who he loved so much, who had always protected him when things with their parents got to be too much. She promised to always be there, but she'd graduated when he was twelve and she moved out and never looked back, never even called. His dad, who _just couldn't handle it anymore, Isak._ Who left, who didn't want him either, who deposited guilt money in Isak's bank account on the first of every month as if that could make up for abandoning his child.

It's not as if he were any better, really. He's the one who left his mom. His mom, who didn't even recognize him some days, who was sick and alone and _needed_ somebody. Isak had left her. He'd ruined everything.

Nobody loved him, but that was okay. He didn't deserve it, anyways.

Isak thinks about what he'd done to Jonas and Eva during their first year. Hurting the people he loved most just because he was jealous. If that was how he treated people who cared about him, then he didn't deserve to have people like that.

He doesn't want to feel things anymore, he shouldn't get to feel things anymore. It hurts so much.

Relationships just aren't something Isak's cut out for.

_He understands it, he really does._

_Boys like him don't get to be loved._

_It's just that he wants it so, so badly._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. I'm super busy so I don't know when I'll have the next bit up, either.
> 
> This isn't even a proper chapter really but I wanted to go into this Isak's past a bit and I took it too far. Hopefully this doesn't seem like flimsy reasoning for Isak being kind of shut off, I really tried. 
> 
> Next chapter is back in the present. Even and Isak talk more and ducks are involved.


End file.
